Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
