Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
