He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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