dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
