did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I will pee on everything he values.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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