So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
