last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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