why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
