I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
