I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
