I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
