just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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