Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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