My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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