i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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