Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
