So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I understand Curling. That high.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
