Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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