put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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