I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize