You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
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