How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Shame - the story of my life.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
