I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
