She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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