His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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