Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
