Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
