69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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