You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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