i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
