Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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