is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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