did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
