idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
