Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
