you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
