I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
