I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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