I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think people are normalizing furries
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
