Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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