Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
