every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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