sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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