Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
