I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
