Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize