no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
