she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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