giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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