About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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