Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize