Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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