I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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