What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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