I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
