I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my being single is dangerous.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
