It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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