I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish I could teleport
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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