Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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