IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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