I think i peed on brittanys purse
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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