When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize