I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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