I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
