ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
