i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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