My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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