i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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