I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
