My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids