there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.